evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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