but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
