Screwed.edu
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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