Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
