This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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