omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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