Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
