there was a trapeze. enough said
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
