So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
