Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
