I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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