Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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