Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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