At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
