Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
