I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize