he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
