you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
