i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
