I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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