Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
