God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize