he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Quick, to the slutcave!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
