i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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