We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
