I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
