If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
