he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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