Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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