Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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