hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You're like the curious george of whores
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
