I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize