if you like me you must not know who I am
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
