Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
