His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
