Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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