I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
only you would photoshop your dick
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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