Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize