If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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