i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize