It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
