I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he thought i was a dude.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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