Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
