toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
