I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
