you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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