I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You made out with two different species that night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
