my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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