Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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