It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
