dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
