I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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