rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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