the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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