so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
