Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
