oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
