Im at strip club and am horny
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
