I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
