dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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