Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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