Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
