I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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