I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize