ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
