Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
