Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
