I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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