soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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