I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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