Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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