So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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